January 21, 2007
A year has ended....but another year has started....
Honestly, I don't want to chronicle my experiences on 2006... But hey, I can't help it... For me to start the year right, I have to recall, yeah recall (not mainly live with it) what has happened the year before -- at least make a list of what went right and wrong, and drew some resolutions
from there... I am not really one of those resolution-fanatic souls who would perennially make some "goal" in changing what they don't want about themselves or others don't want about them... We'll, to some point it can be very helpful. At least you have a goal. It means you have something to look forward to.. And that's one of the things that would make you busy for the year....(As if there's not much to worry and do everyday).
I don't want to sound ridiculous but I felt a heavy compulsion to make a resolution for the year of the fire pig. I guess I owe it to myself to make one... after what had happened to me last year.... Last year was one of the most trying years of my life......If I were'nt that strong and firm, I might have given up early or have gone astray........ (really)... Looking back, I can't help but give a sigh of relief.. Thank God I have endured and hurdled one of the most difficult years of my life... Ok, let me try to unravel what made me think it was one of the most trying..
Career - oh my... this was I think the most "topsy-turvy" of them all. The year 2005 was a great year for me -- full of blessings... One of the reasons was when I was promoted to one of the highest positions in my company. And yes it wasn't expected. Reluctantly though, I accepted the offer and gave it a try... It was not really my personal choice of work or section or whatever you call it -- Quality Assurance. But what the heck, I may not forgive myself if I have not tried. And so it went on... until 2006 has been the "deciding" year for me.. It was after all, a trial period for me... If it's gonna work, then I'll be for it for a long time. Otherwise, I have to go back to my first love -- programming. And I don't give a damn if people take it as a demotion or a stupid move. All I want is for me to love what I'm doing... And that is the exact opposite of what happened to me..... I began to hate what I'm doing and that gave me a negative attitude towards my work.. I became so hot-tempered and overreacting. I was stressed out -- in the truest sense of the word... I was never able to handle the tantamount stress and I finally broke down.. It's over. I felt so damn weak at that time. I felt defeated, hopeless and torn. I can only think one thing --
to get out as fast as I can.... And true enough, even after talking with the President and him giving me what I want (being a developer) just to let me stay, even after differing advices from my families and friends and even after listing the things that I may lose and give up (big salary, travel oppurtunities, power, benefits, good QA team), I tendered the irrevocable big R..And I gave it even if I have not secured another job for myself which is one of the biggest risk I
have taken. It was a shock to all but it was a decision that until now I am proud of. I may not have those "luxuries" that everyone dies for but I have given myself another kick at life. It was a breather that I badly needed.. After one month of job search, I finally had one but with a bit of a problem. It was a 6 day work (though only half day on Sat) and nevertheless, I still gave it a
try. Though it gave me the technical exposures that I wanted, my body gave up because of too much overtime (imagine almost 1am OT and start work at 10am, including Sat). From one mentally and emotionally stressful job to another physically stressful job, I know I am going in the wrong direction. I need to get up... And here I am right now working in a multinational company with a promising career exposure that I wanted, with benefits that are incomparable to companies I've been. On hopping to 3 companies in 2006, I hope that 2007 would be as challenging and promising as I pictured it to be.. Finances -- I must admit I'm a shoppaholic and an impulsive buyer. I'm not really good on money matters. I even hate to talk about it. But certainly the year 2006 was a punishment for me -- for being a reckless money spender. I
cannot account for the expenses I had with my credit card and for the life of me, I cannot trace where those stuffs went. Credit piled up and credit card companies have been my constant phone pal, or should I say dreaded phone monster. It was such a pain in the ass but I decided to close all of my credit cards and paid the amount I owed through installment. The first one was already fully paid and the other one was more manageable now. It was such a trying year
-- really. And I must admit I have lots of things that I failed to fulfill due to my irresponsible spending. But I'm thankful and hopeful that the year 2007 would be an eye opener to me. Right now, I don't have plans of getting a credit card once I settled the remaining one because I still don't trust myself when it comes to money. I hope to make 2007 a saving year and moving on in terms of money matters.
Death - An unexpected death of a friend and a relative were more than I can handle. A mountaineering brother and friend York de los Santos gave in to the fearsome power of flood water in Mt Pinatubo at the end of the first half of the year. It was such a tragic death that all of us don't want to accept. Writing a blog about what I feel made things a lot easier to accept. The death of an aunt was also unexpected. It was harder for me because the death of these two important people in my life happened at the lowest time of career where I just resigned from work and still had no job to hold on. It was really difficult and I don't know how I was able to handle it. Maybe I was too used to the pain of losing, of sacrifice, of trials and of hardships. I thanked God I was able to hold on to HIM... I survived the bitter years of my life..
Lovelife - I must admit I get a bit irritated when most, if not all of the gatherings I've been to have had people asking me if I'm married or had a boyfriend, coupled with a big WHY whenever I give a negative response. Though shrugging off the idea, I can't help wondering why people were so keen on that subject... Oh yeah, blame it on our stereotypical society ... But what really
happened to my lovelife is not much of interest. Aside from the typical crushes and "platonic loves", I got emotionally involved with a guy not worth mentioning, and I guess not worth remembering. To make the story short, I fell in love with the wrong man again. I'm not about to elaborate more about it simply because I have learned to move on. And moving on means gaining self- respect, trust and holding on to the lessons that it has taught me. And as the new year has just started, I'm not about to make any drastic moves with regards to it. As the cliche goes, "Do not look for the right person. Rather, be the right person." I don't expect a soul to find me this soon but I secretly hope I get to know him this year. :)
Trying as it may seem, 2006 has brought me enough success to make me confident, enough trials to keep me strong and enough lessons to remind me of. With the passing of the trying year 2006 comes an optimistic and hopeful year of the fire pig 2007. Charged with experience and lessons, I am now ready to embark on a new journey this year.:)
Honestly, I don't want to chronicle my experiences on 2006... But hey, I can't help it... For me to start the year right, I have to recall, yeah recall (not mainly live with it) what has happened the year before -- at least make a list of what went right and wrong, and drew some resolutions
from there... I am not really one of those resolution-fanatic souls who would perennially make some "goal" in changing what they don't want about themselves or others don't want about them... We'll, to some point it can be very helpful. At least you have a goal. It means you have something to look forward to.. And that's one of the things that would make you busy for the year....(As if there's not much to worry and do everyday).
I don't want to sound ridiculous but I felt a heavy compulsion to make a resolution for the year of the fire pig. I guess I owe it to myself to make one... after what had happened to me last year.... Last year was one of the most trying years of my life......If I were'nt that strong and firm, I might have given up early or have gone astray........ (really)... Looking back, I can't help but give a sigh of relief.. Thank God I have endured and hurdled one of the most difficult years of my life... Ok, let me try to unravel what made me think it was one of the most trying..
Career - oh my... this was I think the most "topsy-turvy" of them all. The year 2005 was a great year for me -- full of blessings... One of the reasons was when I was promoted to one of the highest positions in my company. And yes it wasn't expected. Reluctantly though, I accepted the offer and gave it a try... It was not really my personal choice of work or section or whatever you call it -- Quality Assurance. But what the heck, I may not forgive myself if I have not tried. And so it went on... until 2006 has been the "deciding" year for me.. It was after all, a trial period for me... If it's gonna work, then I'll be for it for a long time. Otherwise, I have to go back to my first love -- programming. And I don't give a damn if people take it as a demotion or a stupid move. All I want is for me to love what I'm doing... And that is the exact opposite of what happened to me..... I began to hate what I'm doing and that gave me a negative attitude towards my work.. I became so hot-tempered and overreacting. I was stressed out -- in the truest sense of the word... I was never able to handle the tantamount stress and I finally broke down.. It's over. I felt so damn weak at that time. I felt defeated, hopeless and torn. I can only think one thing --
to get out as fast as I can.... And true enough, even after talking with the President and him giving me what I want (being a developer) just to let me stay, even after differing advices from my families and friends and even after listing the things that I may lose and give up (big salary, travel oppurtunities, power, benefits, good QA team), I tendered the irrevocable big R..And I gave it even if I have not secured another job for myself which is one of the biggest risk I
have taken. It was a shock to all but it was a decision that until now I am proud of. I may not have those "luxuries" that everyone dies for but I have given myself another kick at life. It was a breather that I badly needed.. After one month of job search, I finally had one but with a bit of a problem. It was a 6 day work (though only half day on Sat) and nevertheless, I still gave it a
try. Though it gave me the technical exposures that I wanted, my body gave up because of too much overtime (imagine almost 1am OT and start work at 10am, including Sat). From one mentally and emotionally stressful job to another physically stressful job, I know I am going in the wrong direction. I need to get up... And here I am right now working in a multinational company with a promising career exposure that I wanted, with benefits that are incomparable to companies I've been. On hopping to 3 companies in 2006, I hope that 2007 would be as challenging and promising as I pictured it to be.. Finances -- I must admit I'm a shoppaholic and an impulsive buyer. I'm not really good on money matters. I even hate to talk about it. But certainly the year 2006 was a punishment for me -- for being a reckless money spender. I
cannot account for the expenses I had with my credit card and for the life of me, I cannot trace where those stuffs went. Credit piled up and credit card companies have been my constant phone pal, or should I say dreaded phone monster. It was such a pain in the ass but I decided to close all of my credit cards and paid the amount I owed through installment. The first one was already fully paid and the other one was more manageable now. It was such a trying year
-- really. And I must admit I have lots of things that I failed to fulfill due to my irresponsible spending. But I'm thankful and hopeful that the year 2007 would be an eye opener to me. Right now, I don't have plans of getting a credit card once I settled the remaining one because I still don't trust myself when it comes to money. I hope to make 2007 a saving year and moving on in terms of money matters.
Death - An unexpected death of a friend and a relative were more than I can handle. A mountaineering brother and friend York de los Santos gave in to the fearsome power of flood water in Mt Pinatubo at the end of the first half of the year. It was such a tragic death that all of us don't want to accept. Writing a blog about what I feel made things a lot easier to accept. The death of an aunt was also unexpected. It was harder for me because the death of these two important people in my life happened at the lowest time of career where I just resigned from work and still had no job to hold on. It was really difficult and I don't know how I was able to handle it. Maybe I was too used to the pain of losing, of sacrifice, of trials and of hardships. I thanked God I was able to hold on to HIM... I survived the bitter years of my life..
Lovelife - I must admit I get a bit irritated when most, if not all of the gatherings I've been to have had people asking me if I'm married or had a boyfriend, coupled with a big WHY whenever I give a negative response. Though shrugging off the idea, I can't help wondering why people were so keen on that subject... Oh yeah, blame it on our stereotypical society ... But what really
happened to my lovelife is not much of interest. Aside from the typical crushes and "platonic loves", I got emotionally involved with a guy not worth mentioning, and I guess not worth remembering. To make the story short, I fell in love with the wrong man again. I'm not about to elaborate more about it simply because I have learned to move on. And moving on means gaining self- respect, trust and holding on to the lessons that it has taught me. And as the new year has just started, I'm not about to make any drastic moves with regards to it. As the cliche goes, "Do not look for the right person. Rather, be the right person." I don't expect a soul to find me this soon but I secretly hope I get to know him this year. :)
Trying as it may seem, 2006 has brought me enough success to make me confident, enough trials to keep me strong and enough lessons to remind me of. With the passing of the trying year 2006 comes an optimistic and hopeful year of the fire pig 2007. Charged with experience and lessons, I am now ready to embark on a new journey this year.:)
